Have you ever hit "Submit" on something and then immediately second guessed yourself? Like r-e-a-l-l-y second guess yourself?!?
That was me a couple of weeks ago through half-asleep eyes at 12 AM.
What in the world was I submitting at 12 AM, you might ask?
I'm glad you did because here is how it went down...
My three year old asks me to lay down with him at bedtime most nights. And I oblige because there will come a day when it's not cool to cuddle with mom. And 6 out of 7 nights a week, I fall asleep with him only to wake up somewhere between 10PM and 12AM to walk to my bed through sleepy eyes.
One particular Monday night, I shuffled to my bed just before 12 AM, plugged my phone in to be charged and opened up Instagram for no reason at all except for the fact that social media controls our habits even when we are semi-comatose. {Not proud of that!}
I clicked on a link to read a long awaited announcement from one of the accounts I follow and after reading it, I filled out an online inquiry for something new they were cooking up and hit submit without even really thinking about what I was doing. I don't even remember what I wrote, you guys!!!
As soon as I hit submit, I panicked! Questions like "What have I done?!?" and "Why did I do that?" started swirling around in my head and I was wide awake for hours after that. {inhale. exhale. repeat.}
I woke up the next morning to check my emails and found no e-mail confirmation of me submitting anything so maybe what I did wasn't really out there. I decided to chalk it up to, "If it went through, it was meant to be and I'll figure it out. And if I don't hear from them, maybe it didn't go through and that's God's way of telling me it's not my time."
Lately, I've been trying to be more prayerful in this small business life, praying for God to use me and the gifts He's given me to bring Him glory. And I really thought a lot about how I just filled this out and hit submit {or at least I think I hit submit} without even consulting with HIM. So I went through the next couple of days trying not to dwell on this unknown.
A few days later I received an email saying they wanted to set up a call with me. That could only mean one thing... my submission went through! I immediately started thinking of my out, what I would say to them to get myself out of whatever I had gotten myself into because thoughts like "I'm not worthy enough" clouded my mind. I had consulted with my best friend and business coach, Heather, and told her my plan and I rehearsed in my head how the conversation would go when they called.
And then I hopped on the Zoom call with this amazing woman and small business cheerleader and all of my fears, thoughts and "you're not worthy" worries quickly faded away. For every out I gave, she came back with another reason why this WAS for me. She said this WAS my time! That I WAS worthy. And she also said that this new venture would give us the opportunity to witness to fellow women who are not believes. And I thought... maybe THIS is how God is answering my prayer about how I can use my small business, my gifts and talents to glorify Him and share Him with other women and small business entrepreneurs.
As women, I feel we often sell ourselves short and we let thoughts of not being worthy get in the way of us doing what we are put on this God-given earth to do. It can be scary and overwhelming and down right fearful at times but girl, DO IT SCARED. You just never know how it might work out!
I can't wait to share more of what's in store in the days ahead. But for now, consider me your cheerleader in the corner. From one woman to another, GO. DO. IT. Whatever "IT" is, you go girl! Even if you do it scared!
