Tired as a mother...

The walls of my one-story ranch are slowly closing in. This house is always disheveled, the sink is always full and the dishwasher and laundry are constantly running. There is constant noise and someone always needs something. I open the fridge 100 times a day because someone is always hungry and I have exactly zero motivation to meal plan or even cook. And yet every time I sit down and get into my rhythm, alas, it's mealtime... again!

Incase you were wondering, this is me, waving my white flag because I am...

In our effort to do our part during these quarantimes, the boys and I are homebound... most of the time! Aside from the four hours my 5 year old is in preschool each day, because Lord knows if he was home 24/7 I would lose my ever loving mind, we don't leave the house. My husband works out of the home 10ish hours a day and is tired and beat when he walks in the door. I wait to run my errands until after 7 PM when he's home and I can dash in and out but who wants to leave the house after dinner?!?

As for school, the entire county is still virtual and that's the plan until mid-February. Even then, I fear they'll extend the return to school until March, at best. But bless their souls these children miss their friends!! I can no longer fake interest in my 9 year old's jokes, Minecraft creations and youtube finds. And those "witching hours" from 4-6pm have always been rough but they seem exceptionally harder now.

Bottom line, I know I need to ask for help but let's be honest - asking for help does not come easy to us! Am I right?!? Just this week I've made several mental plans to hire a babysitter so I can escape for a few precious hours to focus on work outside of my home and away from my kids. And every day I come up with a million reasons why it's just easier to hunker down and stay put so as not to inconvenience someone else. God bless my friend, Jen, who read between my lines during a group Zoom chat yesterday morning and called me today to offer up a plan to help! I felt seen! She saw me in my struggles even when they were masked by humor so as not to reveal how truly fragile I felt! Her kids may be older but she remembers those long, hard days and to top it off with a global pandemic which still has us staying home, well, that's just another level of insanity for those of us that are grasping at straws on the inside just trying to make it to bedtime! 

If you've read this far you're probably thinking I'm on the brink here and don't worry, I'm not! {Mom - I'm fine!!} I cling to the fact that His mercies are new EVERY morning, praise Jesus! But I share all of this for two reasons. First - for the fellow mama's out there who are in these trenches and just want to know they/we are not alone. And second - for those that have flexibility or who aren't homebound with tiny tyrants on their toes and what you can do to reach out! 

So, for my fellow mama's out there who are with me in this season of treading water and living for bedtime, I offer you these few nuggets of encouragement...

1) Give yourself grace! Yes, we likely lose our $h!+ daily and at least once a day we raise our voices over something that normally wouldn't send us over the edge. I've lost track of the number of times I've swallowed a piece of humble pie and apologized to my boys for over-reacting when they didn't deserve the reactions of my foul mood. But kids are resilient!! They bounce right back and while we may hold a grudge against ourselves, thank God they don't! Give them 2 minutes and they'll forget you were even mad! 

2) Paper plates! Yes - something as simple as paper plates can save your sanity because I swear that sink only sits empty for 90 seconds before it becomes a magnet for a dirty cup, fork, spoon or plate. For my readers that are all about saving the planet and shrinking your carbon foot print... I know this will make you shutter. But please know we do not use paper plates daily and we do our part to recycle! But sometimes, mama needs one less dish in that sink so get yourself some paper plates, girls!

3) Find just 20 minutes in your day for self-care! Maybe it's a nap, or a soak in the tub. Maybe it's diving in to a chapter of a book to live vicariously through someone else's life or binge watching Bridgerton. Shoot, it could be hopping in your car and just driving around the neighborhood with your seat warmers on high, listening to songs not suited for little ears. Whatever it is, you owe it to yourself to steal just 20 minutes to yourself.

4) Ask for help! I cringe typing that because my fear of rejection overrides my pride so asking for help is equally hard for me. But start small. Maybe it's asking your spouse for an hour of time alone or asking your partner to pick up a pizza for dinner or handle the bedtime routine. Maybe it's asking a neighbor if they'd hang with the kids while you take a 20 minute stroll around the block. By not asking for help, we're assuming the no when the other party might just be waiting to be asked. 

Alright - now for my friends who want to help us but don't know how...

1) A simple text to say "Hey mama, I see you! You're doing a good job" can really go along way. That ping on our phone with some encouraging words might come at just the right time when we're feeling defeated.

2) Offer to drop off a coffee or lunch! This is ideal if you're keeping things contactless yourself but still want to reach out. We mamas are always feeding our hungry baby birds and sometimes, the thought of making yet another meal (for ourselves) makes us lose our appetite. Or worse, we just nibble and pick at the kids plates (hello #momtax) and call that lunch. A simple sandwich from a corner deli, soup from Panera, or a salad from CFA - Lord we don't care!! If someone showed up on my doorstep with liver-mush, I'd be so flattered someone thought of me that I'd eat it. I might eat it with tears in my eyes because I hate liver-mush, but I'd eat it.

3) Tell us how you want to help! We're too afraid to ask and we won't turn you down! If it's staying with the kids (your house or mine) for a couple of hours, you will become our instant hero! Maybe you've doubled your dinner recipe and you want to drop some off on our porch so we have one less meal to cook. PRAISE! Maybe it's coming over to visit in the driveway while the kids play outside, giving us time to talk to another adult because even though we're surrounded by kids, we are lonely! The possibilities are endless here and only you know what you can offer based on your comfort levels. 

Ahhhh, this has been on my heart, and chest, to share for some time now and who knows if anyone will make it through to the end! If you have, bless you and thank you!